The Nudge and Alice Channel
by A. Hope Never Forgotten
Summary: I have decided to kidnap Nudge! So basically random stories of everyday life with Nudge, me, and my friends! Hope you like!
1. How it happened

**Me: Hi! This is my story with Nudge!**

**Nudge: Hi!**

**Me: So this is what we do on a daily basis-**

**Nudge: Which is TOTALLY not normal**

**Me: Whatever. It's what we do. So here's the story!**

**Nudge: Ahem. Disclaimers.**

**Me: Oh! Yeah the disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Maximum Ride characters or any of my friends cause they own themselves.**

**Me: Well enjoy the story!**

* * *

**Nudge's POV**

Nudge: Max, why can't we just calm down for a while? Maybe at some fun?

Max: Nudge, we can't just stop. We have To Save The World?

Nudge: YOU have to save the world. Nothing about us.

Max: you're helping me. You want to save the world and don't you?

Nudge: Of course I do! But can't we just take a break?

Max: Our job doesn't have breaks.

Nudge: YOUR job! And that's like so cliche!

Max: If you don't want to save the world, then don't!

Nudge: Fine then! I'll leave! You can save the world yourself!-prepares to fly out window-

Max: Nudge!

Nudge: Tell the flock I said goodbye! -flys out window-

Max: Come back after you cool down!

Nudge: I don't think I will!

Max: -sighs-

* * *

**Me: OK, that was Nudge's part, so now mine!**

* * *

Me: Ooh! Look at this shirt! What do ya think?

Kristin: It looks good.

Me: -flatly- That's not an opinion.

Kristin: Yes it is.

Me: No, an opinion is like "OOh! That shade of green looks great on you, but lose the beads. They're tacky.

Kristin: You're right. Lose the beads.

Me: Thank you! What about you Cherry?

Cherry: Lose the beads.

Me: Agreed. -drops shirt and gasps- Gasp! Look! It's Nudge!

Cherry + Kristin: Where?

Me: Over there! By the shoes! We HAVE to go and say hi!

Kristin + Cherry: OK.

Me: Do you guys like practice that or something?

Kristin + Cherry: No.

Me: OK then...-taps Nudge's shoulder- Hi!

Nudge: Hello!

Kristin: Hey.

Cherry: Hi.

Nudge: Do I know you guys from somewhere or something?

Me: Now you do! I'm Alice. This is Kristin, and that's Cherry.

Nudge: Well, I'm Nudge. Ooh! That shirt you got is beautiful! Ya just got to lose the beads.

Me: -is all excited- I know! Gasp! That skirt is gorgeous!

Nudge: Thanks! Ooh! Look at those shoes over there!

Me: They would look great with that skirt over there!

-Nudge and Alice walk off talking about clothes-

Kristin: Should we follow them?

Cherry: ...Nah.

-4 hours later in perfume department-

Me: This one looks like an apple!

Nudge: This one smells like oranges!

Me: Hey, smell this one!

Nudge: Smells... sweet... Woah, why's the room spinning? -collapses-

Me: Now that that's done... Where's Cherry and Kristin when you need them? -whips out handy dandy phone- Hi! Can you meet me in the perfume department? Like ASAP.

Cherry + Kristin: -arrives 3 minutes later- Uh oh.

Kristin: What happened?

Me: Hmm? Oh. Nudge fell.

Cherry + Kristin: Really?

Me: You SURE you don't practice that? Whatever, help me get her to the car.

Cherry: What?

Me: Car. Nudge. Help.

Kristin: -whispers- Told you we should've followed them.

Me: Hello?

Cherry + Kristin: Ok.

* * *

**Me: So that was how I kidnapped Nudge!**

**Nudge: A very complicated way.**

**Me: Yeah it was!**

**R&R?**


	2. First Day

**Me: Hi! So to you who are reading this: You made it to the second chapter!**

**Nudge: Go readers!**

**Me: Ok, so this chapter is the day after I kidnapped Nudge.**

**Nudge: It was a strange day…**

**Me: Shh! You gonna give it away! Ok so I dedicate this chapter to: Kristin and Cherry, my friends and aids in kidnapping!**

**Nudge: So now my first day at Alice's house!**

* * *

Me: So what are we gonna do?

Nudge: Play a game?

Me: Ok. What game?

Nudge: Hide and seek!

Me: Umm. Ok. I'll count. 1, 2, 3, 4…

Nudge: Umm… -tries to open window—

Me: 6, 7, Hey! You can't leave!

Nudge: Open, window!

Me: Ha! I Nudge-proofed it! You can't leave!

Nudge: Watch me!

Me: -tackles Nudge- No you won't! -ties Nudge with scarves-

Nudge: What the are you doing?

Me: -glares- Doing Homework.

Nudge: ?

Me: -sigh- You tried to escape so I'm tying you up.

Mom: WHAT'S HAPPENING UP THERE?

Nudge: H-

Me: -slaps hand over Nudge's mouth—NOTHING.

Mom: WELL, CHERRY AND KRISTIN ARE HERE.

Me: OK.

Nudge: Are they-

Me: -ties scarf over Nudge's mouth-

Cherry + Kristin: Hi.

Me: Hello.

Cherry: -looks at Nudge- What happened?

Me: Oh, nothing, nothing.

Kristin: -glares-

Me: OK. Nudge tried to escape so I tied her up.

Cherry + Kristin: O_o

Cherry: Wha-

Me: Shh! She's trying to talk.

Nudge: Hmm, hmmhmm. HMM.

Kristin: How-

Me: Shhhh! She is TRYING to talk.

Cherry: But-

Me: SHH! She. Is. Trying. To. Talk.

Nudge: -is slightly afraid-

Me: You made her scared now!

Cherry + Kristin: ME?

Me: Shh! Talking!

Nudge: hmm hmm hm HMM.

Kristin: I think she's trying to say " Take off the scarf"

Me: And how would you know that?

Cherry: Well it's kind obvious.

Kristin: Yeah.

Me: No! She's saying she wants a pickle.

Kristin + Cherry + Nudge: O_o

Me: Cherry, go get a pickle from the fridge.

Nudge: hmm hmm hmm

Me: and some whipped cream, too.

Cherry: …

Me: Earth to Cherry. Pickles? Whipped cream?

Cherry: huh? Oh..ok -leaves to get food-

Kristin: Why whipped cream?

Me: 'Cause the internet says it tastes better then with fluff, which Nudge wanted.

Kristin: O_o

Me: Don't give me that look! The internet said so.

Kristin: … Ok.

Cherry: -arrives with food-

Kristin: Don't you have to take off Nudge's scarf?

Me: I guess so. –removes scarf-

Nudge: No pickles, please! But a go on the whipped cream, and thank you for taking off the scarf.

Me: You're welcome. See? At least she has manners.

Kristin + Cherry: What?

Me: cherry, please bring the pickles back. -to Nudge- I'm gonna untie you now. If you try to run, err fly away, I'm gonna tie you right back up. M'kay?

Nudge: Ok. Can I have some pancakes, too? Ya know with the whipped cream? And maybe some syrup, too?

Me: Sure. CHERRY! MAKE NUDGE AND ME SOME CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES WITH SYRUP. THANKS.

Cherry: WHY?

Nudge: 'CAUSE WE'RE HUNGRY. Umm, the scarves?

Me: Oh, right. -unties scarves-

Kristin: Ahem.

Me: …

Kristin: Ahem.

Me: …

Kristin: AHEM!

Me: … Yes?

Kristin: I'm hungry, too. Some cereal would work.

Me: CHERRY. KRISTIN WANTS SOME CEREAL, TOO.

Cherry: OK. WHAT ARE YOU PAYING ME?

Me: WHAT?

Cherry: -comes up with food—Here's your food. So what ARE you paying me?

Me: Umm..-shoves pancakes into mouth- Eating!

Cherry: -sighs-

Nudge: These pancakes are good.

Cherry: Thanks!

Me: That's what I'm paying ya!

Cherry: What?

Me: Happiness!

Cherry: O_o

Me: It's good pay.

Cherry: Sure...

Nudge: Ok so how long am I gonna be tied up?

Me: Who knows?

* * *

**Me: So that was our first day!**

**Nudge: Don't you have something else to say?**

**Me: ... Oh! Thanks to Kristin for helping! And Cherry for cooking that delicious food!**

**R&R?**


	3. IceCreamLand

**Me: So this is the day I decide to let Nudge out of the house!**

**Nudge: Thank goodness!**

**Me: And she got to meet some of my other friends!**

**Nudge: They're just as crazy as Alice, BTW.**

**Me: No, I think I'm more crazy then them.**

**Nudge: Whatever, just do the dedications.**

**Me: I dedicate this chapter to Kristin, Cherry, Aly Mapi, Frances, Tori, and Abbi!**

* * *

-in some meadow in the middle of the woods-

Tori: I'm bored.

Abbi: Me too.

Me: Me four.

Tori: Four?

Me: Yeah. Four.

Abbi: Ok.

Nudge: Me three!

Me: high five! –high fives Nudge-

Nudge: So what do we do now?

Me: …

Abbi: …

Tori: I dunno.

Me: I know! Let's fly around randomly!

Tori + Abbi: Yeah!

Nudge: But you don't have wings.

Tori: -grins mischievously- Do we? -opens magic fairy wings-Behold the power of my magic fairy wings! They are as black as night! With bronze glitter!

Abbi: Mine are sky blue with gold glitter!

Me: ...

Nudge: How about you, Alice?

Me: …

Nudge: Hello? Earth to Alice?

Me: Bask at my orange-ness! With silver glitter! And they smell like orange!

Nudge: Really?

Me: Yeah! See? -flaps wings-

Nudge: They do!

Tori: Mine are chocolate!

Abbi: Blueberry!

Nudge: Cool! Where did you get them?

Me: Wings-R-Us.

Nudge: What?

Tori: Wings-R-Us. Duh.

Nudge: …Ok.

Me: Let's fly!

-everyone starts flying-

Abbi: -tags Tori- Tag! You're it!

Tori: -tags me- Tag! You're it!

Me: -tags tree- Tag!

Nudge: Why did you tag the tree?

Me: Cause he's playing.

Tree:-tags tulip- Tag!

Nudge: What? Huh?

Tulip: Tag! The ground is it!

Tori: Argh! Tulip, how many times do we have to tell you? You cann't tag the ground.

Tulip: Uh, yes I can. Besides what else am I supposed to tag?

Everyone: …

Ground: This here tree is it.

Other tree: Tag! -tags Nudge-

Nudge: Beware! I'm it!

Everyone: -screams-

Me: Rum! I mean Fly!

Tori: Oh no! The tree! -crashes into Abbi-

Abbi: Ow!

Tori: Really? I though you were gonna say I'm falling.

Abbi: What? -looks down- Oh!

Me: Hey, I wanna fall, too! -falls-

Nudge: What are you doing?

Me: Whee!

Nudge: Well if you cann't beat them, join them. -falls-

Me: That's so cliché!

Nudge: Whatever!

-everyone hits the ground-

Me: I'm hungry.

Tori: You're always hungry.

Me: I know! -rolls down hill-

Tori: Wait for me!

Nudge: What are you doing?

Abbi: Rolling!

Nudge: -sighs and rolls-

Everyone: -lands in ice cream-

Tori: We made it to ice-cream-land!

Nudge: Ya know what?

Me: What?

Nudge: I'm just gonna stop asking what you're doing.

Me: Ok. Let's eat1

Abbi: Ok. -grabs spoons-

Me: Gasp! It's a spoon!

Tori: Ok, why?

Me: I require a spork!

Tori: Some times weirder than I though possible.

Me: Yes I am!

-3hours later-

Me: Be careful. I might explode.

Abbi: Me, too.

Tori: Ditto.

Nudge: -groans-

Tori: I'm never eating ice cream again.

Me: I might.

Nudge: How are we getting home? I mean like you blind folded me when you brought me here, so I clearly don't know how to get-

Me: Ok Nudge! We get the point! And we're getting home like this. -snaps fingers-

-everyone vanishes and pops back into Alice's room-

Nudge: We're back!

Tori + Abbi: Yay!

* * *

**Nudge: Ice-cream-land has some very good ice cream.**

**Me: Indeed. Especially the cookie dough. Oh, and I'd like to thank my vice principal for kindly staying on the other side of the room while I wrote this story.**

**Nudge: Yeah, until she came and stood your desk for the rest of class. Ya know you shouldn't have been writing while she was talking because she IS like the vice principal and-**

**Me: Yeah, I got it Nudge!**

**R&R?**


	4. Art Class

**Me: So today we're gonna have a visitor!**

**Nudge: Guess who?**

**Me + Nudge: Angels here!**

**Angel: Hi!**

**Me: So today-**

**Nudge: The second day I come the Alice's school and I get covered in paint! Like really, how does this happen to a person? And her friends-**

**Me: Ok Nudge, you're gonna say the whole thing and then we won't have a story!**

**Nudge: Ok, then. Here's the story.**

**Me: Ahem. That's MY job. Plus I dedicate this to all my friends! Oh and here's a list of how their wings look like. Ya know so they don't have to randomly state it.**

**Abbi: Same as chapter before and force field**

**Tori: Same as chapter before and grows plants**

**Me: Same as chapter before and the author**

**Aly Mapi: Green wings with white glitter and they smell like kiwis (not the bird) and reads minds.**

**Frances: Pink wings with nickel glitter and they smell like raspberry and is lightning fast. She also has a British accent!**

**Kristin: Dark purple/blue/indigo with copper glitter and they smell like vanilla and Dove soap and is a shape-shifting Shadow hunter**

**Cherry: Silver with clear glitter and they smell like strawberry and is like a chameleon**

**Nudge and Angel: Their wings and powers.**

* * *

Ms. Art-Teacher: So today we'll be painting!

Me + all my friends: Yay!

Rest of class: …

Ms. Art-Teacher: So let's get started! -passes out paint-

Me: I'm painting a waterfall!

Tori: I'm painting plants!

Abbi: I'm painting… circles!

Kristin + Cherry: Circle?

Abbi: Yeah, like a paint force field!

Aly Mapi: Wouldn't it be cool to have a paint fight?

Tori: Yeah!

Me: I can do that! -to rest of class-Yo! Everybody out! This is a war zone now!

Rest of class: -runs out-

Me: OK let's go! Wings out, and paint at the ready!

Frances: Wait! We should have teams!

Cherry + Kristin: We're a team!

Me: Me, Nudge and Angel!

Tori: Me and Abbi!

Aly Mapi: -to France-Wanna be a team?

France: OK.

Cherry: We should have magic paint!

Me: Roger that. -waves hands-Everyone's paint is the same color as their wings! And they got whichever power you want!

Angel: How did you do that?

Me: I can cause I'm the author of this FanFiction and what I say goes.

Angel: Ok then.

Tori: -throws paint at walls do then they start growing into a jungle-

Everyone: Awesome!

Me: I know I am!

Frances: Not you! The paint!

Me: Aww. Now we throw paint!

Abbi: -throws paint in my mouth-

Me: How dare thy? I'll- Hmm this tastes good. Like blueberries. What was my point?

Tori: -throws paint at Frances and misses-

Frances: You'll never hit me!

Angel: You sure about that? -throws paint at Frances and hits her-Ha!

Frances: Hey! -Throws paint at Angel but misses and hits me again-

Me: Hey! Oh I remember what my point is! -throws paint in Abbi's hair-

Abbi: My hair's orange now! -throws paint at Nudge and me-

Nudge: -throws paint at Kristin and Cherry-

Kristin: Oh, no you didn't! -throws paint at everyone-

Cherry: Oh hell no! -hides under table-

Frances: Cherry, get out of there!

Cherry: Never! Or at least a few mintues…

Me: Ya got till the count of three. 1…2…3… That's it! You're coming out!-pulls Cherry out from under the table-

Cherry: But my HAIR!

Me: Too bad.

Cherry: But- -Gets hit with paint-NO!

Me: Lol! And did I mention it's PERMENTANT paint?

Cherry: O_o

Aly Mapi: But that means we'll be splatter painted for days.

Me: Yep!

Angel: Cool!

Tori: Whatever. -throws paint at everyone-

-2 hours of paint throwing later-

Nudge: We look like we tried to paint a house and fell in the paint buckets.

Me: That's basically what we did.

Tori: Yep.

-clock strikes 2pm—

Me + Aly Mapi: Time for the Magic Genie Song!

Nudge: Oh, no…

Me + Aly Mapi: I am a genie

I live in a lamp

A very purple lamp

Nudge: Make it end!

Me: + Aly Mapi: It is filled with soda

The soda is orange flavored

But it is purple

There is a waterbed

But it is a soda-bed

It is filled with soda and soda-fish

There are many pillows

They are purple and orange

They are made of satin and cotton

They smell like soda

There is a punkin

He thinks he's pink

Don't let him think

That he is pink

Nudge: Finally!

Tori: I like it.

Frances: Umm what are we gonna do with the teacher and the class?

Me: oh, right. Them. -thinks-Angel'll brainwash them.

Angel: What am I doing?

Me: Brainwashing some people for me.

Angel: I am?

Me: Yep.

Angel: Ok

Nudge: What about the paint?

Me: I can fix that -makes paint go away-

Nudge: Where did the paint go?

Me: Planet B

Nudge: O_o

Angel: I'll brainwash. –brainwashes teacher + class people—OK. All done!

Me: Ok, thanks Angel!

* * *

**Me: That was the BEST art class ever!**

**Nudge: Me, too!**

**Angel: That was your ONLY art class, Nudge.**

**Nudge: Whatever.**

**Me: I'm sorry Angel but ya have to go back to the flock.**

**Angel: Ok. Bye!**

**Nudge + me: Bye!**

**Angel: -vanishes-**

**Nudge: How does she do that?**

**Me: I do that. Plus I got some news for all you who read this.**

**Nudge: She has a LOT of news. Like-**

**Me: -glares- So my news. My friend Abbi is getting married to a turkey leg! The engagement party's in a few days so I'll tell y'all all about that.**

**Nudge: And Ms. Lazy Bum here's going to write another story.**

**Me: -gasp-Gasp! I was supposed to say that!**

**Nudge: As you say, "Oh well".**

**Me: -glares-Well the secret's out anyways.**

**R&R?**


	5. Abbi's Engagement Party

**Me: I update at last!**

**Nudge: After I annoyed her enough to update.**

**Me: -glares- Laziness over came me.**

**Nudge: Which is why I'm always saying to update, cause you're always writing in that notebook of yours but you're too lazy to type and I-**

**Me: -throws fashion magazine at Nudge-There. That'll keep her busy. So this is what happened at Abbi's and Turkey leg's engagement party.**

**Disclaimer: I own practically nothing.**

**Me: And I dedicate this to my friends and the readers!**

* * *

Abbi: Hi! Welcome to the party!

Everyone: Woohoo!

Abbi: So everyone, have fun and I hope you like the party!

Me: Which I planned!

Abbi: That too!

Tori: Why's everyone yelling?

Me: I don't know!

Frances: Then stop yelling!

Tori: Ok.

Aly Mapi: So what are we going to do?

Tori + Abbi + Me: Pudding pool!

Nudge: What?

Aly Mapi: A pool filled with pudding.

Me: Let's go! -jumps into the pudding pool-

Tori: Yeah! -jumps in pool-

Abbi: Make room for the bride-to-be! -jumps in pool-

Frances + Alympia + Nudge + Max + Angel: -jumps in pool-

Me: Pudding fight! -throws pudding-

Tori: -throws pudding at Kristin and Cherry-

Kristin: Ahh! -throws pudding-

Cherry: Ahh! Don't get it in my hair! It took me 3 hours to do it!

Frances: All the more reason to throw pudding at you.-throws pudding-

Cherry: Ahh! -runs to pretzel jungle gym-

Max: How did you get a pretzel jungle gym?

Me: The bakery of pretzel sculptures.

Max: O_o

Angel: She's not kidding.

Aly Mapi: Let's go to the pretzels!

Everyone: Yeah!

Nudge: You plan the strangest parties.

Me: I planned it out of recommendations from Abbi.

Frances: Do you think I could climb to the top of this?

Kristin: Probably not.

France: Let's see -climbs to top-Woohoo!

Me: Awesome! -joins Frances-

Tori: I'm coming, too! -climbs to top-

Cherry: I didn't know that pretzels were that strong.

Nudge: Me neither.

Tori: Come on up Abbi!

Abbi: No thank you.

Frances: Why not?

Abbi: Because- -pretzel jungle gym collapses-

Me + Tori + Frances: Ow!

Angel: Why don't you guys try something less pointy?

Me: -thinks- To the cake!

Abbi: No! We're having pizza first.

Me: You didn't ask for a pizza sculpture.

Abbi: Really?

Me: Just normal pizza.

Abbi: Hmm… Go about what you were doing.

Tori: To the pizza for me!

Cherry: -gasp-My hair's coming undone! I NEED more hairspray! -runs for hairspray-

-a few hours later-

Max: Man I'm hungry.-walks to get pizza-

Tori: No flirting with the pizza!

Max: Uh, why?

Tori: Cause he's talking to me.

Max: Um, ok.

Abbi: Cake time!

Everyone: Yay!

Me: To the cake!

Cherry: I call first piece!

Kristin: No, I call it!

Abbi: No, I'm getting it.

Me: You heard her. First piece goes to Bob.

Bob: Yeah! -runs away with piece of cake-

Max: Ok then. Hey Tori. What happened to you and that pizza?

Tori: -looks up from cake- Hmm? Oh, I ate it.

-cake explodes—

Everyone: Ahh!

-Me2 comes out of cake-

Me2: Roar!

Cherry: Wait. What?

Me2: Grr!

Cherry: Ahh!-runs into pudding pool- My hair! My beautiful hair! Good bye world! You were very cruel to me!

Kristin: Cherry. It's only 2 feet deep.

Cherry: Ahhh- Oh. -steps out- My hair's still messed up! -runs off-

Me2: Meow!

Me: Meow? Really? That's sad…

Me2: Well then. -leaves-

Frances: What was that all about?

Me: Oh some how my stunt-double got in the cake.

Tori: Totally normal.

Nudge: And why did the cake blow up?

Me: I let Iggy bake it.

Nudge: _Why_ did you let him do that?

Me: I dunno.

Nudge: -sighs-Let's go.

Abbi: Eat some cake?

Tori: Yeah!

* * *

**Nudge: I still have cake in my hair 'cause of that.**

**Me: It's good cake at least.**

**Nudge: True.**

**R&R?**


	6. Random Debate

**Me: French Toast!**

**Nudge: Pancakes!**

**Me: So after that burst of randomness…**

**Nudge: Her teachers are crazy!**

**Me: … Ok then.**

**Nudge: But it's true.**

**Me: Yeah… My teachers let us have very random debates in the middle of class. One of them went very far. The Breakfast food war, as I call it.**

**Nudge: One of the kids came in with a waffle shirt on.**

**Me: And that's what I'm writing err typing about today! 'Cause Frances stole my notebook of ideas for my other story and me being me, need some revenge. So I take her out of my story for a while. And really nothing has happened here. Seriously. It's more exciting to watch paint dry, and I've done just that.**

**Nudge: So basically, this is a filler chapter. The filler chapter of life.**

**Me: Yep. And this note is getting really long, so:**

**Disclaimer: Really? It's not obvious?**

**Dedications: To everyone! Especially whoever invented chocolate!**

* * *

Mrs. Teacher of science: -insert random science talk-

Me: -whispers- This is so boring.

Nudge: -whispers- So boring. Might sleep. -drops head on desk-

Me: Nudge! Don't drool on the textbook! It never did anything to you.

Nudge: Fine. -gets up-

Random kid (Hereby known as RK): Pancakes rock!

Random kid2: Waffles are better!

RK: No, pancakes are!

RK2: Waffles beat pancakes any day!

RK: Team Pancake!

Rk2: Team Waffles!

Me: Why is "waffles" plural?

Everyone: -ignores-

Abbi + Nudge: -laughs-

Rk2: Waffles have the perfect surface for syrup!

RK: Well, -thinks- Pancakes are smooth!

Another person on Team Pancake: You can put chocolate chips in pancakes!

Another person on Team Waffles: So can waffles!

RK2: Waffles make the world go round!

RK: Pancakes make the _universe_ go round!

Me: How about we settle our differences and choose French Toast?

Everyone: -ignores-

Abbi + Nudge: -laughs harder-

RK: Pancakes!

Rk2: Waffles:

RK3: Let's pick teams!

Everyone: Yeah! -picks teams-

Team Waffles: Waffles!

Team Pancake: Pancake!

Team Waffles: Waffles!

Team Pancake: Pancake!

RK4: How about we bring peace and just choose French Toast?

Me: I just said that!

Everyone: -ignores-

Abbi + Nudge: -are now laughing hysterically-

Me: Ya know everyone, I'm writing this down as it happens!

Everyone: -ignores-

Abbi: -fall out of chair laughing- Ah! Hahaha!

Me + Nudge: -laughs-

Mrs. Teacher of science: You have 5 mintues to finish your discussion before class is over. Don't forget that you have homework.

Everyone: -ignores-

-insert 5 mintues of Pancake/Waffle/ French Toast arguing-

RK4: -to some random person in the hall—Hey, which is better? Pancakes or Waffles? Or French Toast?

Kid in hall: None: I eat cereal. -leaves-

Rk4: Ok… I'll take that as French Toast.

Me: -mutters- I came up with the French toast.

Abbi: Oh, poor Alice! Whatever will you do?

Me: I write.

Nudge: Why?

Me: To end this war! French Toast!

Nudge: Pancakes!

Abbi: Waffles!

Bob: Cheese!

Me: Bob! What did I tell you about popping up randomly?

Bob: I dunno.

Me: -sighs- Go home Bob.

Bob: Ok! -vanishes-

Nudge: Who is that guy anyways?

Me: You're asking me? I don't even know what I'm saying half the time.

* * *

**Nudge: How do you even write in the middle of class?**

**Me: It's called having a short pen, small notebook, and shoving it all in a desk whenever the teacher walks by. Classic.**

**Nudge: You're crazy.**

**Me: I'll take that as a complement.**

**R&R? Or let kids keep bringing bottles of syrup to school?**


	7. Abbi's Wedding

**Me: Wee! The wedding!**

**Nudge: Abbi and Turkey Legs' of course.**

**Me: Yep. So a few bits of info before we start.**

**Abbi - Bride- Neon orange PJ's with turkeys on it and a candy cane, licorice, and one dandelion bouquet**

**Turkey Leg -Groom- Bow tie and extra gravy**

**Mashed 'Taters-Best Man err, Food- Tie**

**Me-Maid of Honor- Dress of neon colors**

**Angel and Gazzy-Ring bearers- Neon yellow suits with lights**

**Nudge: Peace of justice**

**Tori-Bride's Maid-All black**

**Lettuce- Groom's Man?-Ranch dressing**

**Disclaimer: I'm not James Paterson, am I? Therefore I do not own Max Ride**

**Dedication: Abbi and Turkey Leg! Congrats!**

* * *

Tori: Welcome to the Wedding!

Everyone: Yay!

Me: Which I planned!

Everyone: -silence-

Tori: … Ok then, let's get started!

-insert wedding music here-

Abbi: -walks down aisle- Hellooo! Thank you for coming! Thank you, thank you!-trips over some random doughnut- Oops!

Everyone: Le gasp!

Abbi: -gets up- I'm OK!

Nudge: So we're here to-

Iggy (dressed as batman): -flies in through window- I have arrived!

Me: Hi Iggy!

Nudge: Ahem… As I was saying. We're here to marry these people. Blah blah blah words I didn't memorize blah blah.

Max: Where are the rings?

Me: Umm… Gazzy! Angel!

Gazzy + Angel: -runs down aisle- We're here!

Me: What about the rings?

Gazzy: Umm. Angel? Rings?

Angel: -thinks- I know! -runs off-

Tori: What now?

Me: We wait. Duh.

-4 hours later-

Gazzy: I'm bored.

Me: Ditto.

Tori: Same here.

Abbi: -snores- Wha what?

Max: Where is Angel?

Me I dunno.

Max: Well what should we do?

Me + Tori + Abbi: Presents!

Tori: Mine first!

Abbi: OK. -opens- Woohoo! Gravy socks!

Me: Me next!

Abbi: -opens- -screams- Maximum Ride books! -huggles me-

Frances: Open mine.

Abbi: -opens- Awesome! An orange!

Aly Mapi: Mine's the best!

Abbi: -opens- A...box?

Aly Mapi: Open it!

Abbi: -opens again- Ooo! A pillow! -huggles pillow- Soft… -sleeps-

Me: Wake up, Abbi!

Abbi: What? Oh.

Max: This one's from the whole flock except Iggy.

Abbi: -opens- Thanks! I love hats! -puts on hat- Awesome.

Iggy: Mine's outside. Just a second. -runs out-

Me: Pickles!

Tori: Random…

Iggy: -is back- Here ya go.

Abbi: Oh. Em. Squee! A llama!

Iggy: A purple llama.

Abbi: Squee! Thanks! -huggles-

Iggy: Need. Air.

Abbi: Oh, sorry. -de-huggles-

Angel: -drops in from ceiling- I'm back!

Me: -mutters- Finally.

Nudge: -flips cell-phone closed- Where were we? Oh, yeah. Ahem. Abbi please put the ring on Turkey Leg.

Abbi: -does so-

Nudge: Turkey Leg, do the same.

Turkey Leg: -puts on ring-

Nudge: Hey, look you're married!

Abbi: Woo! I lurve Turkey!

Tori: Wait, wait wait! Ya gotta toss the bouquet.

Abbi: Oh yeah. -tosses-

Iggy: -catches it- Nooo! -throws it-

Tori: I got it. I got it. I…don't got it.

Floor: Caught it! Wait, I'm married to the wall! –throws bouquet-

Frances: I caught it! -eats it- Yummy.

Me: Wha- How- Noo! It took me forever to make that bouquet!

Frances: Whatever.

Abbi: Now we dance!

Everyone: -dances-

Abbi: Llama dancing!

Tori: Random dancing!

Me: Noodle dancing!

Abbi + Tori: What?

Me: You dance like a noodle, see. -noodle dance-

Tori: Oh… OK!

Abbi: Cake time!

Me: Cake fight!

Cherry duck and cover! -ducks and covers-

Tori: Cherry, you need some cake. -throws cake at cherry-

Cherry: Noo! I'm melting er, my hair's melting! I spent like 5 hours doing it!

-one cake fight later-

Me: Good cake.

Tori: Very good.

Abbi: Turkey Leg cooks real good.

Me + Tori: Very.

* * *

**Nudge: How can a turkey leg cook?**

**Me: Miracles of nature. BTW the noodle dance is like the worm for your arms.**

**Nudge: I'm hungry. I want some noodles. Do we have noodles? Like good noodles not the bad type or kind-**

**Me: Shut up, Nudge! If anyone has any ideas on how to shut up a bird kid, please tell me! 'Preciate it.**

**R&&&&R?**


	8. English Camp wait what?

**Me: I know it's pretty early by my standards to update again so soon, but this was sooo funny I just had to post it.**

**Nudge: It really was.**

**Me: It's kinda short, but whatever.**

**Disclaimer: Alice no own Max Ride. Alice sad.**

**Dedication: To all y'all reading this!**

* * *

Me: -is doing project about some thing or another—

Teacher: -mutters—Alice. Lilly. Kyle. -walks off—

Me: -picks up paper—What's this?

Abbi: I don't know. Open it.

Me: Cann't. She'll yell at us.

Aly Mapi: What's it about?

Me: I dunno. –makes paper into tube—What? I still don't know.

Cherry: Let me see. –opens paper—"English Learners School"

Me + Abbi + Aly Mapi: What?

Nudge: Can I see?

Me: No.

Nudge: Why?

Me: 'Cause it ain't about you.

Nudge: Well then! How come your friends can look at it? That that dude over there is looking, too.

Random dude: Uhh… No, I'm not –runs off—

Me: Creeper.

Nudge: -continues rambling—

Me: -ignores—What is "English Learners School"?

Cherry: I think it's to teach kids English.

Me: But I know English! See I'm speaking it right now! What the hell?

Aly Mapi: -laughs— Apparently you don't know English!

Me: -stutters—

Abbi + Cherry: -are laughing—

Me: I can speak English! I may suck at spelling, but I can talk!

Abbi: -stills laughing—Maybe… it's 'cause you talk… so fast.

Aly Mapi: It's like your speaking another language!

Me: I don't talk that fast! –mutter—At least not that I know of.

Cherry: That's hilarious!

Me: Yeah, kinda. But really? English learners class?

Teacher: Go back to your seats!

Aly Mapi: You should ask the teacher why you got that.

Me: Yeah. –holds up paper—Why?

All of us: -laughs—

Teacher: Seats!

-everyone at seats now—

Teacher: -passes back memory papers—

Class: -is whispering…loudly—

Me: -get's paper back—Awesome! A-! What'd I get wrong?

Aly Mapi: Dunno.

Me: -looks through paper—I spelled a lot of things wrong. And Grammar things too.

Aly Mapi: That's why you're going to English camp! –laughs-

Me: -laughs—Probably!

Aly Mapi: You got an A- so you got to go to camp!

Me: -is hysterical—

Aly Mapi: -is hysterical—

Abbi: -is looking weirdly at us—What are you laughing at?

Me: The... The… -laughs—

Aly Mapi: The… She got an A-, so that's why she's going to camp!

Me: 'Cause apparently I am incapable of speaking English!

Abbi: -laughs—

* * *

**Me: That was seriously funny. At the moment.**

**Nudge: Even funnier when you KNOW what's happening.**

**Me: Whatever Nudge. What. Ever.**

**Nudge: -grumbles—**

**Me: Oh and BTW I'm not going to the camp. Phh. 8 in the morning should NOT exist.**

**R&&&&&&R?**


	9. We've Graduated 7th Grade!

**Me: I graduated today!**

**Nudge: Me, too!**

**Me: Sooo I'm really bored so I'm gonna say everything we did this week.**

**Nudge: Cover your ears.**

**Disclaimer: I, again, don't own Maximum Ride.**

**Dedication: TWILIGHT!**

* * *

Me: Monday and Tuesday were lame…

Nudge: AKA she cann't remember them.

Me: It's pronounced "renember"

Nudge: O_o Since when?

Me: Since…. Forever!

Nudge: …. Oh! So that why Cherry always yells at you when you say "remember"!

Me: "renemeber"

Nudge: Do I care?

Me: Probably not. So on Wednesday…. What did we do?

Nudge: It was like 3 days ago! How can you not remember?

Me: coughRenembercough

Nudge: -eyeroll—We went to some court house…. Blah blah blah.

Me: Nice storytelling.

Nudge: Then why don't you tell it? I mean it WAS YOUR field trip and-

Me: I'm going to ignore you.

Nudge: -blabs away—

Me: At lunch we went to some pond. One of the kids there said he wanted to stand on some tiny rock just off-shore and do, like, Karate Kid moves on it. Like the one foot kick thing.

Nudge: Aren't you listening to me complain?

Me: Nope. So our chaperone said she'll pay him 5 bucks if he did. Then some other girl said our chaperone was a bad chaperone. But she was nice! Like when people started gathering at our table –I don't know why, though-. There was a whole bunch of… not good things drawn on it. And the people were just reading it and she's like I shoulda put the blanket on the table and—

Nudge: YOU ARE RAMBLING!

Me: Wha?

Nudge: Thank you.

Me: What was I saying? Oh right. I—

Nudge: Shut up!

Me: -laughs—I bother you!

Nudge: A lot.

Me: So on Thursday… no memory of it. Crap.

Nudge: And somehow you can remember all the books you've ever read.

Me: Hell yeah! Go bad/good memory! And it's "renember"

Nudge: -headdesk—

Me: Friday…Friday… Whoa that's today!

Nudge: -sarcasm—No. Really?

Me: Indeed it is. It was sooo sad!

Nudge: What was? Was I there?

Me: I dunno. Felt like saying that.

Nudge: Your randomness is dangerous.

Me: -in British accent- Quite.

Nudge: Why. Just… Why?

Me: -still in British accent—Wot?

Nudge: The accent!

Me: -normal accent—What accent?

Nudge: -repeated headdesk-

Me: You're killing brain cells.

Nudge: -whacks head on desk…hard—Dammit! Ow!

Me: Brain cell murderer!

Nudge: And so is TV.

Me: Touche.

-desk suddenly splits in two—

Me: Damn…And I thought I had a hard head.

Nudge: Poor desk.

Me: Now how am I going to explain this one?

Nudge:

Me: Nice answer.

Nudge:

Me: I guess I should be shocked Nudge hasn't said anything for a while. Not really.

Dad: Gooooaaaaaalllllll!

Me: OW MY EARS!

Nudge: What did ya say? I think I've gone deaf!

Me: That was my dad watching the World Cup. Or FIFA. I have no idea what that stands for.

Nudge: Me neither.

Me: Go Brazil!

Nudge: What she said!

Me: Wait a second… Since when did I like football?

Nudge: You mean soccer.

Me. Depends on which language you speak.

Nudge: True.

Me: Besides, it's fun confusing people.

Nudge: Also true.

Me: What?

Nudge: Why what?

Me: What?

Nudge: What?

Me: What?

Nudge: Stop it! I'm getting confuzzzled

Me: XD!

Nudge: I walked right into that one didn't I?

Me: Oh, yeah. One of my friends—I think Aly Mapi—said to my history teacher one day that she was confuzzled. He just said "confuzzled?" and helped us with the paper. Meanwhile, Abbi and I were really badly trying to cover up our laughs.

Nudge: You are so strange.

Me: Thank you.

-doorbell rings-

Nudge + Me: Pizza!

* * *

**Me: Well that killed some 15 mintues.**

**Nudge: -is eating pizza—Are you gonna eat that?**

**Me: Yes! –shoves pizza in my face—**

**R&R? Or pizza?**

**Me: Oh and before I forget (some more…)… Happy B-Day Tori! I'm probably a few days early, but happy b-day!**

**Nudge: What she said!**

**Me: Oh and more news! I'm gonna be having a Q&A chapter soon so…**

**Nudge + Me: QUESTION US!**

**Me: 'Cause we're bored!**


	10. Abbi's Devorce Party

**Me: Too lazy…to write….Nudge, type.**

**Nudge: Yay, I get to type!**

**Me: Cheese!**

**Nudge: O_o**

**Disclaimer: I'm still not J.P. so chances are I don't own Maximum Ride**

**Dedication: Sorry Turkey Leg…**

* * *

**Abbi's POV**

Me: -comes home—Turkey Leg! Where's dinner? I'm starving.

Turkey Leg: Too lazy. Make it yourself. Get me some cranberry sauce while you're at it.

Me: How dare you!

Turkey Leg: What are you gonna do about it?

Me: I'm getting a divorce! –leaves—

-at divorce office—

Me: So I'm here. And the check-it lady is reeaaalllyyy slow. Crap.

Random Lady: You're gonna be here a while.

Me: -shrugs—Whatever.

-three hours later—

Me: Finally! So… hungry…

-at home—

Me: -stumbles in—Hey Turkey Leg…We're not… married anymore…Hungry –collapses on couch—Hmm… turkey leg. Yum.

Turkey Leg: Nooooooo! Don't eat me! I'll make dinner. I'll give you a massage! I'll… I'll watch Twilight! Nooooooooooo!

Me: -eats Turkey Leg—Yumm… -passes out—

* * *

**Alice's POV **

-next day—

Abbi: I have divorced Turkey Leg.

Me: No! Really?

Abbi: Yeppers.

Me: We have to have a party. I'll start planning! –runs off—

-little later—

Me: We're here 'cause Abbi has divorced Turkey Leg. And she ate him…On Accident!

Abbi: True. True.

Me: So now we party!

Everyone: Yay!

Me: First, the piñata!

Abbi: Of a Turkey Leg!

Cherry: I call first!

Kristin: Second!

Aly Mapi: Third!

Frances: Forth!

Cherry: -whacks piñata—Woohoo! And my hair's still perfectly gelled.

Kristin: -whacks piñata—Yeah!

Aly Mapi: -whacks piñata. Some candy comes out—Candy!

Nudge: Dive!

Everyone: -dives for candy—

Frances: Mt turn. –whacks—More candy!

Everyone: -dives—

Tori: Ooo! Ooo! My turn! My turn!—whacks repeatedly—High ya! Wat cha! Karate! Salami!

Everyone: -dives for air—

Nudge: You missed!

Tori: But I got to yell cool words.

Me: Yeah. –stiffles laugh—

Cherry: Shouldn't the devorcee get to hit the piñata?

Abbi: Yeah. Yeah I should. –whacks piñata. All candy falls out—Awesome!

Tori: Dive, dive!

Everyone: -dives—Candy!

Aly Mapi: Hey, this isn't candy. It's… goop.

Me: No. It's candy AND pudding. Nummy Nummy.

Frances: Yum.

Me: Quite. Ommonmonmonmon…

Kristin: What's next?

Cherry: Now what?

Me: I knows! Be right back!

–2 second later-

Me: -holds up book—See?

Tori: "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs" Wow you really have that book?

Me: Yeppers. So now…Drum roll, please –drum roll—I will pull out giant jell-o house.—reaches in book. Pulls out giant jell-o house—Ta da!

Tori: Wow! How did you do that?

Me: Trade secret and some magic.

Cherry: What are you waiting for? Let's go!

-few hours of jell-o-ness later—

Abbi: I will never eat jell-o again

Me: I probably will.

Tori: Of course.

Kristin: Now what?

Me: -thinks—Marshmallows!

Tori: No. S'mores!

Cherry: Don't we need a fire for that?

Me: -grins mischievously—Don't worry. I can fix that.

Aly Mapi: Uh-oh.

Tori: Run!

Everyone but me: -runs—

-One large 'splosion later-

Cherry: Here we are. Roasting marshmallows.

Frances: Over a fire the size of a car.

Me: It was a pretty 'splosion. So big…

Nudge: That explains why there're no matches in her house.

Tori: Probably.

Kristin: -sings-Roasting marshmallows. Roasting marshmallows. We're roasting marshmallows.

Nudge: Ahh! You're making my ears bleed!

Kristin: Fine.

Me: La gasp! Who has the chocolate?

Abbi: Keep the chocolate away from Alice! She'll eat it whole!

Me: Gimmegimme!

Tori: No! No chocolate for you.

Me: Alice sad. Tori make Alice sad.

Tori: -doggie face—Sorry. –huggles—

Me: -huggles back—Now where be the chocolate?

Tori: -eyeroll—

Nudge: Oh crap! My marshmallow caught on fire! –blows on marshmallow—

Me: No, that's not how you do it.

Nudge: How then?

Me: -takes flaming marshmallow—Like this. –eats marshmallow— Nummy in my tummy. That's how you do it.

Everyone: O_o

Me: What? It tastes good. So warm…

Frances: 'Cause it was on fire!

Me: Your point?

Frances: -eyerolls—

-few hours later—

Abbi: I'm sticky.

Aly Mapi: Me, too.

Me: Ditto.

Frances: You look like a marshmallow tried to eat you.

Me: Why, thank you.

Frances: -eyerolls-

* * *

**Me: I really do eat marshmallows like that.**

**Nudge: Yeah. We went camping a few weeks ago and she was just inhaling marshmallows and chicken wings all day. **

**Me: Good times…Good times.**

**Nudge: I think she ate more than me. **

**Me: And we got to watch fireworks!**

**Nudge: Thought we didn't set any off.**

**Me: Sniff. Sniff.**

**Review! I command you, or I shall eat all your chocolate! LOL just kidding!**


	11. Q and A

**Me: Hello world!**

**Nudge: I'm here, too! –waves-**

**Me: You gave us questions and now, we shall answer.**

**Nudge: Let's see how many we can fit in 9 pages.**

* * *

Me: Yep. First questions by spycutie009!

_Have you joined the Fnick Witness?_

Me: I'm not sure what that is, actually. I think there's an author called that…

_Does Nudge ramble a lot?_

Me: Ohhh Yeeaahhh. There's hardly a minute when she's not going on about something random.

Nudge: You talk a fair amount, too, ya know.

_Did you know I kidnapped Max?_

Me: Well now I do.

_What are you doing this summer?_

Me: Reading. And some writing. And we're going on a train to Disney in a few weeks! Excitement!

Nudge: I get to follow Alice around everywhere. Which is actually kinda cool sometimes.

Me: So now more questions by an anoym- anny- anymini-

Nudge: Anonymous.

Me: Yeah, that. A person by the name of The Person.

_For Alice: Vampires or werewolves?_

Me: Pixies!

_Do you like diamonds?_

Me: I like all minerals.

_What's your favorite song?_

Me: At the moment… Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore.

_What's your favorite apple?_

Me: The ones you can eat.

_Quick! PB&J, CD, MTV?_

Me: Ahh! Pressure! PB minus J! Or maybe CD. Hmmm…

_Do you have an accent?_

Me: No. No accent for Mimi.

Mimi: Ahem.

Me: Well, then. No accent for_ Alice_

_Are you purple?_

Me: Nope. Are you?

_What was the last song you listened to?_

Me: Ahh, this requires a memory. I do not have one of those.

_What was the last song I listened to?_

Me: And I'm suppose to know this how?

_Are these questions strange?_

Me: Just a smidge.

_Do you like cake?_

Me: CAKE! Where?

'_Cause I like cake._

Me: Good for you.

_Cake is good…._

Me: I thought I was random…

Nudge: You still are.

Me Hey, these questions are for me!

Nudge: Just saying…

_Favorite bird?_

Me: I know, like 5 birds. Umm… Ohh, I got it. A mockingjay!

_If you had wings, what color would they be?_

Me: That'd be awesome if I had wings! And they could be like fire colored. Like red at the top then orange and yellow then like white and gold. Or maybe like a peacock! With all the blues and the eye-feathers. Or like mood wings! They could turn colors with my mood so then—

Nudge: Shut up, Alice!

Me: Wha-. Oh. Yeah, that's my answer.

_What color is the sky?_

Me: Gray and Purple.

_Do you like the ocean?_

Me: Ocean be pretty!

_Lettuce!_

Me: Ohmigosh! Healthy food! Run! –runs—

_Does Nudge ramble a lot?_

Me: I believe I answered that somewhere..

_Do you ramble a lot?_

Nudge: -laughs-

Me: Possibly worse than Nudge.

_What happens when both of you are rambling and no one stops you?_

Me: I really don't know.

Nudge: Usually one of Alice's friends pops up and stops us.

Me: Hmm. I bet one of us would eventually get tired and stop. Maybe.

_Would you keep talking for like EVER, until you like died or something?_

Me: Till we fell asleep or got tired would be, like, less drastic.

_What's your favorite book?_

Me: Too. Many. Books. Fighting. For a. Spot in. Favorites. –passes out-

_Do you like bacon?_

Me: People may be angry, but no. Alice don't eat bacon. Or, like, red meat.

_Are you gonna kidnap anyone else?_

Me: -rubs hands together evilly—Kidnapping plans are Top Secret.

Nudge: -gulp—Alice scary.

_Is this getting annoying?_

Me: No, not really.

_Am I annoying?_

Me: Vaguely.

_How long are you gonna keep answering these questions?_

Me: Till they run out, I suppose.

_You think I'm done asking you questions?_

Me: Nope. So now Nudge gets to answer some questions.

Nudge: Yay!

_Does Alice let you fly around a lot?_

Nudge: If you count making me fly outside the car to go anywhere, yes.

_What's your favorite food?_

Nudge: Anything edible.

_Have you tried to escape yet?_

Nudge: Many times. Not anymore now. It's hopeless.

_Do you like bacon?_

Nudge: Unlike Alice, I LOVE bacon and all meats

_Where do you sleep?_

Nudge: A beanbag. It's actually not that bad.

_Do you like yogurt?_

Nudge: Sure.

_Are sand castles awesome?_

Nudge: They're fun to build.

_What was the last thing you sang?_

Nudge: Singing? Umm, I think we had some kind of a karaoke night at one of Alice's friend's house. –snickers—Alice can't sing. At all.

Me: Hey! Not nice.

Nudge: But true. You sound like you're choking or something.

Me: And my singing voice is guaranteed to crack windows, glasses, and shatter metal.

_Water balloon fight!_

Nudge: Aim for Cherry!

Me: Duck and cover!

Nudge: Why are you in my questions?

Me: -shrugs—Dunno.

_Is Alice ever gonna let you go?_

Nudge: I don't know. Alice? Will you let me free?

Me:

Nudge: Alice.

Me:

Nudge: Alice!

Me: You told me no to bother you in your questions.

Nudge: -eyerolls—Well now you can talk. For this question only.

Me: I vill neva let you go! Muahahahah! –spins around-

Nudge: You are an odd person.

_What CD did you last listen to?_

Nudge: Brand New Eyes by Paramore

_Have you ever been arrested?_

Nudge: You don't need to know.

_Send a message to the world!_

Nudge: Yes! Max! Fang! Gazzy! Angel! Iggy! Total! Save me from this wackjob called Alice! Please!

Me: I am NOT a wackjob. Just insane.

Nudge: See?

_Is this weird?_

Nudge: Kinda. But you get used to it after a while.

_Quack! Quack!_

Nudge: Coughcough?

_Do you like pie?_

Nudge: Yep. Especially apple or blueberry.

_Favorite kind of jell-o?_

Nudge: The jiggle-ly kind

_Worst enemy?_

Nudge: Hmm… It's a tie between The uber Director and Alice.

Alice: I am disliked! –sobs—

Nudge: Just kidding. Definitely the Uber Director. You're kinda like a nice kidnapper.

Alice: I am liked! Somewhat. –is happy-

_Best friend?_

Nudge: I'm not going to single out my friends. It wouldn't be nice.

_Do you like glitter?_

Nudge: It's fine.

Me: GLITTER!

_Sparkles?_

Nudge: Same as glitter.

Me: SPARKLES! All very shiny!

Nudge: Oh, now we have questions for the both of us.

Me: Awesome.

_How much do you use ketchup? (1-none, 5 everywhere)_

Me: Like 0. Ew.

Nudge: 3 or 4.

_What do you say a lot?_

Nudge: "I'm hungry" No, not really. I don't really know

Me: I know for a fact that I quote everything. Books, movies, people. I all but speak in quotes

_Can you draw?_

Me: Anyone can draw. The question is can they draw well?

Nudge: I draw… decently.

Me: That be code for bad.

Nudge: I draw like Alice sings.

Me: Again with the singing! I can draw pretty well, if a bit strange. Mimi has more art talent then me.

Mimi: Yes, I do. Oh, BTW I'm Alice's alter-ego.

Me: I founds her a couple days ago. She's the almost totally opposite of me.

_Which way's north?_

Nudge: If you're asking Alice for directions, you must be REALLY lost.

Me: I bad with directions. –gasps—But I have compass! –looks at compass—Hey, it's stuck on some direction! Stupid compass.

_South? East? West?_

Me: It's not clear I don't know the directions?

_Holy crap! Your house is on fire! What one thing would you bring with you?_

_Don't worry, all your family and kidnappees(Or kidnapper) and pets are already out._

Nudge: I don't really know. My bag full of stuff?

Me: My laptop. My life is on that thing.

_Have you ever googled "lol limewire"?_

Me: Ooohh, what happens?

Nudge: Don't know. Google it.

Me: Right. To google!

…

…

...

Me: Dancing cartoon pirates!

Nudge: -is laughing—That's cool!

_Favorite color?_

Me: -takes breath-

Nudge: Oh you just had to ask didn't you?

Me: I don't have a favorite color because then if I were to single out a color all the other colors would feel bad 'cause I didn't pick them. And then all the colors would get mad at me then they would run away from me and I would have to life in a colorless world which would be really really REALLY boring and TOTALLY un-fun. –exhales-

Nudge: Done?

Me: Yep.

Nudge: I like dark purple.

Me: Le Gasp! You single out color! You will now live in a colorless world or boringness and un-fun-dom!

Nudge: -eyerolls—We get it, Alice.

* * *

**Me: Hey, look we're done!**

**Nudge: Woohoo!**

**Me: And we only on the 11****th**** page!**

**Nudge: Wow.**

**Me: 'Kay then. Later**

**Nudge: Ciao.**

**R&R?**


	12. Tidepools and The Kelp People

**Me: Hello peoples!**

**Nudge: I'm here, too!**

**Me: Well this happened way back at the beginning of summer, but it got lost in my computer.**

**Nudge: And now she found it and is gonna post it, right?**

**Me: -nodnod- Yep.**

**Disclaimer: Not James Patterson. So chances are I don't own Maximum Ride.**

**Dedication: The inventor of ice cream. **

* * *

Me: I think I'm going to melt.

Nudge: Ditto. Why don't we have an A.C.?

Me: 'Cause I'd have to carry it up here and it weighs like 50 pounds.

Nudge: -sighs—I'm so bored.

Me: Me, too. Oh, idea!

Nudge: What?

Me: we could go to the beach!

Nudge: Without any of your crazy friends?

Me: Sadly, yes. I think they got tired of you.

Nudge: Me? Why me? I didn't do anything. I just followed you crazies and—

Friends: -appears—No we're not. –disappears—

Nudge: They are so strange.

Me: Your point is…?

Nudge: Right.

Me: To the beach!

-appears at beach—

Nudge: -coughs—I wish you would tell me we were just gonna… appear there! Er, here.

Me: Naw. Too much effort

Nudge: -sighs—Whatever. We're here now.

Me: Woohoo! Water! –splashes in water—Ah! Cold!

Nudge: It's better than being stuck in that oven you call home.

Me: Touché.

Nudge: Water! –runs/swims around—Woohoo! –crashes into a rock—Ow! Totally NOT woohoo!

Me: -laughs—

Nudge: Not funny!

Me: Whatever. -laughs- …What is a rock doing in the middle of the ocean?

Nudge: I... don't know.

Me: Hmm. –climbs rock—Awesome! Tide pools!

Nudge: Really? –climbs rock—Awesome!

Me: -points—This one has seaweed! –points—This one has oysters! –points—This one has little fishies! Aww!

Nudge: Hey look! The krelp are here!

Krelp: Hello.

Me + Nudge: Hi!

Krelp: Do you want to meet the kelp-people?

Me + Nudge: Yeah, we do!

Me: We have got to stop doing that.

-all dive into ocean—

Kelp-person: Welcome to our city!

Me: Neat…

Nudge: How are we breathing underwater?

Me: You don't question the power of the kelp-people.

Nudge: Ok…

Kelp-person: My name's Aquaria.

Me: Alice. That be Nudge.

Nudge: Do you have pet dolphins. Like since you live underwater and everything, you must have lots and lots—

Me: Shut it, Nudge! –to Aquaria—You were saying?

Aquaria: Um, yes. We do have dolphins.

Me + Nudge: Woohoo!

Me: That is getting sooo annoying.

Nudge: To the dolphins!

-at dolphin stables—

Me: They're so nice.

Nudge: Yeah. Can they do any tricks?

Aquaria: Yes. Momo, give Nudge a high five.

Momo the dolphin: -gives Nudge high five—

Nudge: Cool!

Me: Not impressed. Can they do anything else?

Aquaria: Yes. Momo, be a ninja.

Momo: -does wicked ninja moves—Hi-ya! Flying lotus!

Me: Holy crap! It's a karate chopping dolphin! Neat.

Nudge: -is in awe—

Me: How'd you teach them that?

Aquaria: Trade secrets.

Me: Hmm. I'm hungry. Do you have any veggie-friendly food?

Aquaria: Yes, we do.

Me: Then show me the way to the food! Come on, Nudge.

Nudge: -snaps out of it—Wha—

Me: Let's go.

-at dining hall—

Me: Food! –dives into buffet table—

Nudge: -mutters—And you say I don't have manners.

Me: I am offended! I have manners. See, -waves fork around—I used a fork.

Nudge: Sure you do…

Me: -glares—Can we see the coral mansion?

Aquaria: Sure.

-at Coral Mansion-

Me: It's all coral!

Nudge: -fake gasp—No, really?

Me: -glares— Who lives here?

Aquaria: Mr. and Mrs. Queen.

Me: -la gasp—You have a queen?

Aquaria: No. We have president.

Me: Then …why?...Never mind.

Krelp: Time to go.

Me +Nudge: Ok.

Me: Ahh!

Nudge: -laughs—

Me: -glares—

-at surface—

Me: Well that was kinda boring.

Nudge: 'Cause nothing caught on fire or blew up?

Me: Underwater fire. Awesome idea!

* * *

**Me: Underwater fire would totally rock.**

**Nudge: You are so strange.**

**Me: -smiles—I know I am. Oh, and an update on the Kelp People. Their president spent all their money on chocolate truffles so they people rebelled.**

**Nudge: Aquaria led it and was the face of the Rebel side. The Rebels won.**

**Me: So now Aquaria is their new queen though their capital (where we visited) is destroyed.**

**Nudge: All the people are now living in different places till the capital is rebuilt.**

**Me: Which will be about next year. But go Aquaria for taking the place as the new Queen of the Kelp People!**

**Nudge: I wonder what happened to Mr. and Mrs. Queen.**

**Me: We'll never know… **

**Nudge: Why?**

**Me: Aquaria wouldn't tell me.**

**Nudge: -eyerolls- Of course.**

**R&R?**


	13. The Ski Trip

**Me and Nudge: Hi World!**

**Me: Well, I've had this partly written since, like, January.**

**Nudge: Then Alice's friends reminded her of it.**

**Me: So I finished writing it. Amazing how I renembered it for so long.**

**Nudge: It's not really something you forget.**

**Me: -laughs- No, not really! **

**Disclaimer: While I may have kidnapped Nudge, I don't own MR.**

**Dedication: Anyone who's tried a winter sport, successfully or not.**

* * *

Me: Bye!

Nudge: Bye! –walks off-

Dad: Bye! I'm not sure I'll be able to get out of here 'cause of all this traffic. –slowly drives away-

Me: -walks around—Hi people!

Kristin: Hello!

Abby: Hi!

Cherry: Hi! Oh, I need my outline. I have mine don't I? –tries rummage in bag—I can't reach it. Hold my coffee. Hold my bag. –hands bag to Kristin-

Me: -takes coffee—Outline? Oh, crap I forgot it! –starts to run after car—I can't do this with coffee in my hand. Here, hold this. –hands coffee to random stranger-

Random stranger: Wha-?

Me: It's just for a second. –chases car—Wait! Come back! I need my outline! Drive home and get it!

Dad: -is driving away—I'll try. –drives off—

Me: Thanks! –walks back—

Kristin: Were you just chasing a car?

Me: And?

Cherry: Whatever. Where's my coffee?

Me: Hmm, hold on. –finds random stranger—Thanks for holding the coffee! –walks away—

Random stranger: O_o Anybody else find that strange?

Me: Here's your coffee. –hands over coffee—

Cherry: Where was it?

Me: With a random stranger.

Cherry: Did he poison it?

Me: Err, no?

Cherry: Fine with me. –sips coffee—HOT!

Tori: Greetings, people of snow.

Abbi: Hi!

Me: Hi! –adjusts bag and accidentally nudges Tori—

Tori: -all gruff-like—Oh, you wanna fight? 'Cause I bet you'll win! –laughs-

Me: -laughs—

Mr. H: Everybody on the bus!

Me: Ahh! Avoid!

Abbi: Why?

Me: 'Cause I don't have my outline.

Abbi: Oh.

Tori: Ninja time!

Everyone: -goes to bus like ninjas—Hi-yah! Chop suey! Noodles! **(Can you guess who said what?)**

Dad: -comes running up and hands over outline—

Me: THANKS!

Dad: You're welcome. -runs off—

Frances: Hullo. –whips out iPod—Ah, back to my movie, Twilight.

Aly Mapi: Hi!

Abbi: …I've got muffins.

Everyone: Ooo!

-Three muffin-, singing-, and lewd joke-filled hours later—

Cherry: I can't get the damn boot on!

Abby: There's no need to swear at the snowboard boot.

Me: I can't get my boots on either. –stomps around trying put on boot—

Aly Mapi: What are you doing?

Me: Wrestling with my boots. –fights with boots— Grr!

Aly Mapi: Oooo… kay then.

Cherry: Ah-ha! Got my shoe on. Let's go. –grabs snowboard—

Me: -falls out door—I'm fine!

Abby: I'll be singin' Justin Bieber down the mountain. –skis off—

Cherry: Got my board on, but I can't get up!

Me: -shakes head, eyerolls- -pulls Cherry up— To the ski lift!

Cherry: -Starts moving sllooowwwwlllyyy—We'll get there any day, now!

Me: -mutters— Days. Phh. At this rate we'll be there next year. –grabs rope hanging from Cherry's snowboard—A little faster now! –pulls Cherry to ski lift—

Cherry: Ahh! I'm gonna fall!

Me: Relax. –tries to get on ski lift. Gets run over by ski lift— Ahh! Not cool! Well, actually the ground's pretty cold but…

Cherry: The next chair's coming around. Get up!

Both:-fall onto chair—

Cherry: Ahh, we're gonna fall!

Me: Where's the metal thingy? Oh, found it. –pulls metal bar over— Ahh! We're so high!

Cherry: She said it.

Me: -facepalm—

Cherry: Hey, look, a snowboarder. Snowboarders unite!

Snowboarder: -looks around, bewildered— Wha-?

Both: -laughs—

Me: He looked so cunfuzzled, Cherry!

Cherry: -confuzzled— Cherry?

Me: 'Tisn't it your name?

Cherry: That was LAST year. This year I'm gonna be… Vanessa. Yeah, that sounds cool. Maybe next year I'll be Rachel…Hmm…

Me: Ok… Vanessa.

Out of nowhere: AHHH!

Vanessa: Ohmigod, it's Izzy!

Izzy: -skis uncontrollably fast down mountain—AHHH!

Me: She dropped her ski poll!

Vanessa: There's Will!

Will: -shakes head- -picks up poll and skis away—

Vanessa: He was all like, "Ugh, really? Am I really doing this?" –cracks up—

Me: Ahh! Stop; you're rocking the chair!

Vanessa: Oh, no we're almost there. Put the bar up! –does so—

Both: -slide down little hill and fall... hard— Ouch.

Random old lady: Move it! Or I'm gonna run you over! Darn delinquents! –skis off—

Me: -cracks up—What the hell?

Vanessa: That lady was, like, 90!

Me: Let's get out of the way before more people come. –slides away—

Vanessa: I can't stop! No, not into the tree! Away, away! –falls in front of tree—

Me: -slides expertly up to her— How did you manage to run into the only tree in the middle of the trail?

Vanessa: I _almost_ did. I don't know. How the hell can you do that?

Me: Dunno.

Tori and Abbi: -ski up—Hi! Where's Nudge?

Me: I have no– Hey, isn't that her and Mimi on the ski lift?

Abbi: I think so. What are they fighting about?

Tori: Why don't any of them have skis?

Mimi and Nudge: -fall of ski lift— Ahh!

Nudge: Can't fly! Wings stuck in fashionable scarf! Love the scarf!

Both: -roll down mountain in a huge snowball—

Tori: I bet I can go faster than them! –skis off—

Abbi: I bet Tori won't be able to stop in three, two—

Tori: I can't stop!

Abbi: -laughs—I knew it. Better go help her. –skis off—

Vanessa: Hey, look, a monkey!

Aly Mapi: Hi, guys! Oh, a monkey! Come here, little monkey.

Monkey: -monkey noises—

Aly Mapi: I think he likes me!

Monkey: -jumps out in middle of trail—

Aly Mapi: Move monkey! I going to crash into you!

Monkey: -jumps onto Aly Mapi's head—

Aly Mapi: Hi, little monkey. What are doing here?

Monkey: -monkey noises- -jumps into tree and swings away-

Aly Mapi: Good bye, monkey! Later guys! –skis away—

Vanessa: Wonder where he came from.

Me: Who knows? Let us continue down the mountain. –slides away—

Vanessa: -Starts sliding, stops, starts—Ahh, not into the scenery! –inches like a worm back to center of trail— I'm a caterpillar!

Random kid from my class: Stop singing! –skis away-

Abby: -skis by, singing Justin Bieber— Baby, baby, baby, ohh!

Me: That wasn't odd at all.

Vanessa: I'm doing it! I'm not falling!

Me: Watch out for the people.

Vanessa: 'Scuse me. Sorry. Coming through. I can't turn! –falls—

Me: Ooh, we're gonna be while. –lays back in pile of snow— Oh, the clouds are rainbow colored! Pretty…

Vanessa: I think you've been in the cold too much.

Me: Oh, that's purple and, look, that one over there is grey-green. Gasp! That one's, like, blue-green. –giggles— That one's pink! –cackles—Pretty clouds…

Vanessa: Let's keep going back you lose your mind.

Me: -sighs—Ok… Bye clouds! –waves to clouds-

Mimi and Nudge: -roll by in a giant snowball. gets stuck between trees—

Mimi: Alice! Get us out!

Nudge: It's COLD!

Me: -kicks snowball—See ya at the bottom!

Mimi and Nudge snowball: -rolls away—

Me: Let's race them! –snowboards off—

Vanessa: Wait for me! –inches down mountain—

-In ski lodge—

Me: Om nom nom.

Mimi: -tinkering with technological snowboard— Hmm… Where's the blue wire?

Frances: If Mimi's here, where Nudge?

Mimi: I escaped the snowball soon after Alice pushed it. –glares at me—I think Nudge must still be in it.

Nudge: -burst out of giant snowball as it rolls down the bunny hill—I'm free!

Me: No you're not. Mimi?

Mimi: Got it. –messes around with her high-tech cloak—

Nudge: Hey! Wha- -flies uncontrollably into lodge— How— Oh. –sarcasm—Thanks a lot for leaving me in the freaking huge snowball, Mimi.

Mimi: You were intent on finding your hat, if my memory serves me right.

Nudge: -grumbles— Whatever.

Kristin: Snowball fight in the parking lot!

Everyone: -runs outside—

-Just outside the parking lot—

Me: -kicks snow— The snow's a bit dirty, 'tisn't it?

Kristin: Yeah…

Abby: Let's see how many people we can fit on Vanessa's snowboard!

Vanessa, Kristin, Tori, Abby, and Abbi: -stand on snowboard— Whee!

Mimi: Hmm… So five people fit on a snowboard.

Me: I'm going back up the mountain. –does so—

-Top of mountain—

Me: I'm going to go to the left this time. –slides to left— Oh, no! Ramp! Other way, other way! –fall/slides away from ramp—I live!

-Three more runs later—

Me: -goes back in lodge—Where is everyone? –walks out to parking lot-

Mrs. S: Oh, Alice! There you are. We were looking everywhere for you! It's time to go.

Me: Oops. –runs to bus—

Bus driver: There she is! –talks into radio- Take a seat.

Me: -plops in seat—I'm really late, aren't I?

Abbi: They nearly sent a search party out for you.

Me: Awesome. Where's—

Mrs. M: -walks by, muttering— That kid had five Monsters, two sodas, and about a truck load of candy. No wonder he won't settle down.

Nudge: Who did that?

Frances: Some kid selling Monsters out of his backpack.

Me: -laughs—That's our class!

* * *

**Me: -laughs- That was the most AWESOME field trip ever!**

**Nudge: It was pretty fun! Except the snowball part...**

**Me: Oh, come on. That must have been so cool!**

**Nudge: Actually it was. Both ways.**

**Me: See? I rubbed off on you. It must have been... mad wicked.**

**Nudge: -winces- Please. Don't speak modern. It's terrifying. It's like... butchering the English language.**

**Me: -scoffs- It's not _that_ bad.**

**Nudge: Oh, it is. **

**R&R? Or I could aways speak like a normal person again.**


	14. Over and Out For the Last Time

Me: So it's been a year…

Nudge: And we haven't updated anything….

Me: So to have some kind of finality to this fanfic, this is the closer to The Nudge and Alice Channel.

Nudge: We had fun when we wrote it, the craziest situations and funniest moments, but it's time to end it.

Me: I've been meaning to do this for ages but never got around to it. School is too much even if I didn't write or read so I couldn't keep writing this and it just got forgotten. So sorry for anyone who has been waiting for some epic comeback chapter but this is it.

Nudge: We're going into our sophomore year of high school and the old gang has practically disbanded and forgotten about this world.

Me: Really sad isn't it? But we mustn't wallow in the past; smile because it happened. So you, dear reader, must keeping smiling even though things have ended. It always gets better but sometimes it just takes some time, but just like waiting for the one thing, it happens when you least expect it, when you've all but given up.

Nudge: So keep your head up. Don't give up. We've had our fun times but everything must end eventually. We just got to be happy it happened and not lose ourselves in what could've been.

Me: So this is our last good bye on this story. I'll be wrapping up my other stories too. I simply do not have time to keep this up anymore. But we had fun, didn't we Nudge?

Nudge: The maddest kind.

Me: So bye y'all. We had fun while it lasted. I love you all *heart*

Nudge&Alice over and out for the last time


End file.
